Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The black hole

I just can't seem to fully climb out of this hole I'm in. Just when I think I can see the light I feel the blackness taking over me again.
I have so much I want to get done but so little motivation. Its taking my everything to just keep on with this "heathy way of life" (or in real speak DIET) let a lone the power to do anything else.
I haven't touched the sewing machine in months :( That depresses me just thinking about it, how my business is slipping away each day. I go to bed thinking to myself tomorrow I will get started, tomorrow I will drag myself out of this, tomorrow I will get stuck into the sewing (something I love) but as soon as I open my eyes all I feel is the blackness.
Someone once said to me "just do it"
It sounded so simple. I deactivated my facebook account, and put my forum account on ban thinking maybe if I didn't have the distraction of the net I would be able to claw my way out easier but I'm not sure it has helped. It has just made me feel so alone.
I have had a couple of my friends text me in that time to say hi and ask how I am, which I cherish but seriously out of 109 facebook friends only 2 have text me and 1 I catch up with everyday (thank god for her).
If it wasn't for my friend Caz I'm sure I would be down in my hole twice as deep.
She has been a great distraction from the darkness.  Speaking of, its time for our nightly walk, I wonder how many laps of the lake she will us do tonight. The other day she tried to kill me with NINE!

So how does one "just do it"? How do you climb out of the darkness and back in to the world of the living?

Maybe tomorrow there will more light in my life. I can only hope.


  1. Hoping you find some light and sunshine soon.....hard to just "do it" I imagine but forward is always a good way to slowly

  2. I think of you lots, email me your mobile and I will text you :-) Would love to catch up one weekend, was down your way last weekend doing some shopping :-) *HUGS* I spend my evenings reading now or snuggled up on the couch xox Lots of pink healing light swirling your way! Mel xox

    1. Thank you Mel. I would love to catch up for a coffee. I will email you my number.
      I miss snuggling up with a good book in the evenings, I just don't seem to have time these days. xx

  3. You got to want to "just do it". Its the truth, you have to take small steps and those small steps lead to bigger and bigger steps. forget those things that bring you down. IF they are really worth it they will all still be there at the end. SO start with small steps.